Posts tagged: nice guys
How is this even a thing? I’m a dude. I get it. Girls can be scary. They look just like humans, but they make Weird Things happen in your pants-area. It must be magic. They are the Gargamels to your dick’s whatever-Smurf-your-dick-is.
(Sidenote: the makers of The Smurfs meant for each Smurf to represent a different kind of dick. There are 99 dick archetypes. Mine’s Vanity Smurf because it’s so god damned beautiful. Yours might be Baby Smurf because it’s so tiny or Fakir Smurf because it’s racist as hell.)
Actually, none of that is true. Girls are normal humans, and I’m pretty sure Smurfs aren’t dicks, though the hats are suspicious. The problem is that when you see a girl your body goes all Breaking Bad and starts manufacturing chemicals that Jack You Up. That’s scary. I know. I overdosed on PCP once.
Before I launch into this I need to say that if you’re a high school kid, and you’re getting “friend zoned,” I do not blame you for being an idiot. You’re going through a lot of bullshit right now, and your body is more like season 4 of Breaking Bad where for a grown man it’s more like season 1 or 2. But read this article and become wiser than your fellow dweebs. Stop fearing girls as capricious and devastating forces of nature and start seeing them as people who are EXACTLY LIKE YOU except with different pants-parts and, in many cases, different shirt-parts.
If you’re a grown man (read: 19 or older, and I’m cutting the 18 year olds a fucking break here) and you get “friendzoned,” then the following words are for you, Friendzone.
Stop it. How is this even happening? What are the events that are occurring? This is what I imagine:
You become attracted to a woman.
You are friendly to that woman in the hopes she will show you her vagina.
She mistakes your friendliness for friendliness and befriends you, neglecting to show you her vagina.
You act like a butthurt little asswipe, forever placing yourself firmly outside of the circle on the Venn diagram of dudes she will ever show her vagina to.
You complain about it on the internet, and 1000 other maladjusted bro-dudes go, “I know that feel,” and you are validated in your misogyny.
We’ll call that Scenario 1 because there is a second scenario I imagine where “friendzoning” may occur. We will refer to this as Scenario B. (Did that throw you off, Friendzone? Keep on your toes. I am the ninja master in your training regimen to stop being a douche bag.)
You become attracted to a woman.
You befriend her in a passive-aggressive, it’s-us-against-the-world kind of way.
She tolerates that because she’s too nice to tell you, “fuck off, you creep.”
She dates an actual interesting guy with an actual personality.
They break up, and she hurts.
You offer your shoulder to cry on.
She cries on your shoulder.
She dates another interesting guy.
You go, “What the fuck? You cried on my shoulder! Show me your vagina!”
She reacts something like, “I thought we were friends, you creepy-ass, fucking creep!”
You tell the internet you’ve been friendzoned.
The internet validates your misogyny.
So, what’s wrong? You’re a nice guy, right? Why aren’t theses Stupid Whores showing you their vaginas? Probably because you’re too nice. You should be a douche bag like that guy she dated who had interests besides pretending to be her friend while simultaneously trying to eye-laser her pants off. Well, good news: you ARE a douche bag!
Consider something for me. Imagine that I, an incredibly good-looking, nice, eligible man, was walking into a shop ahead of you. As I reach the door I stop to look behind me, and I see you there only a few paces away. So I wait and hold the door. Maybe you say something like, “Thanks, bro. That was really nice.”
To which I respond, “Yeah, it was. Now you know what you have to do, right?” And I take my dick out.
Would that be uncomfortable for you? Would it be unpleasant for you to live in a world where, if a man was nice to you, it meant he expected you to pleasure him sexually? Guess what! That’s uncomfortable for women, too. Isn’t that weird? It’s almost like they’re the same kind of person you are. WEIRD!
No, actually. It’s not weird. It turns out they are the same kind of person you are, and having unwanted dicks around is as horrifying to them as it is to you. So, stop. Stop it with your unwanted dick.
Here’s the hard truth, Friendzone. You’re not a nice guy. You are a gutless, pathetic, sad, horny little worm who’s too afraid of rejection to just tell a woman how you really feel. Your anger when she doesn’t psychically glean your unspoken desires and automatically reciprocate them is actually just you externalizing the disgust you feel for your own cowardice. You think pretending to be friends with a woman will get her to have sex with you because women are sex-objects to you. You can’t imagine a non-sexual friendship with a woman being rewarding in any way because you don’t think of them as whole, real people. It doesn’t occur to her to date you either because your pandering comes of as unchallenging and uninteresting or because your creepiness is obvious and unnerving.
How can you stop being such a douche bag? Well, I suggest forming a friendship with a woman. You’re going to need to find one who can put up with a lot of bullshit, because that’s all you’ve really got to offer at this early stage. A good indicator is if she’s been married a long time or has raised children. Invest time and energy in this relationship WITHOUT thinking about your constant loneliness-boner. Once you have internalized the knowledge that your new friend has thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, AND breasts, take a look around you. Look at the world. Look at all of the people with breasts. Those people are just like her, just like your friend. They, too, have thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. Even the ones you want to fuck. Isn’t the world magical?
Here’s my last advice, Friendzone. People, men and women both, are complex, emotional creatures, and virtually all of them are horny. If you’re honest with yourself and honest with them you will form trusting, open connections with a large network of humans. Those people are called friends. You will be in many friend zones. You will be a better person. Someone will fuck you. Trust me.
- a woman pursuing a man who is not interested is ‘creepy’ or ‘crazy’. she deserves scorn and should be laughed at. if this woman is considered less attractive than the man, the man will be pitied.
this is how men are trained to be abusers. they’re not taught to hear ‘no’ from women, they’re taught that they are entitled to women and that when a woman rejects them it is not because the man has done anything wrong but that the woman just needs to be convinced.
- a man pursuing a woman who has said no, gives her gifts and continues to ask her on a date is ‘romantic’, ‘sweet’ and worthy of our respect and pity. the man’s attractiveness does not matter - men are fully realized people.
Furthermore, the idea of a “friend zone” is absolutely revolting.
It is based off the idea that a guy messed his game up somehow, and though it WAS possible before to win the girl, they lost and have been placed in this friend zone and “how dare she complain about not finding someone who wants a relationship and then turning ME down, so what if I’m unattractive I PAID for her dinner, I gave her FLOWERS, shes a total b****…”
I’m sorry, but why can’t a woman set standards for herself? Does she not have a CHOICE as to who she dates and who she pursues? And who says he isn’t a complete jerk and just assumes that one good deed should earn him a favor?
When men decide that a girl is just a friend, its as natural as breathing. I mean, they just don’t FEEL that way towards her, no harm done right? The double standard baffles me, and what’s worse is that almost NOBODY acknowledges it.
Nice Guys are the most hilarious invention, really.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (x)
Ugh, I’m sorry to double post with two quotes, but he’s dropping another truth bomb here. I hate when people misinterpret 500DOS and think of Summer as some kind of bitch, or, alternately, as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. That’s only how his character saw her. To me, this movie was basically about Nice Guy Syndrome: A guy who thinks he’s just so nice that he’s entitled to the woman he wants, and when she decides she doesn’t want him back, she becomes a bitch, or a whore.
#exactly #Summer is not a manic pixie dream girl because of the two of them she was the one who was blatantly unhappy #and Tom made it perfectly clear from childhood that he had a specific expectation of how his dream girl should behave#and as soon as Summer started straying from that expectation he immediately patched up the holes that were appearing in the relationship … #and he grossly overestimated how much he could change her #he thought he could make her believe in love because that’s what he thought was right #I could write an essay on this fucking film
omg love this love it. Part of the reasons I had problems with this movie was because, aside from his blind date calling him on his bullshit, I wasn’t convinced the movie was as critical of his character as it wanted to be (I mean it started with a probably ironic to so and so that bitch, and interviews with the director or whoever left me unsure). Also, the huge number of people who walk away either thinking it’s this great romance or that she’s this huge bitch and how dare she play him like that. I guess that has more to do with our culture, tho. (Not that I want to say what you can and can’t enjoy and what you do and don’t think is romantic, and there were certainly some sweet scenes).
THIS GIVES ME FAITH AGAIN, that JGL said that, because seriously.
NOPE NOPE NOPE
CAN’T HANDLE IT
reblogging for tags because
this is actually a HUGE THING WITH ME and as I obnoxiously reblog months and months old things that will doubtless not get seen, I can’t help but alskfmlsd in assent at the sentiment - even though, for the most part, I have very little fear of it happening in canon.
It being making Ishida into a “Nice Guy”. Augh, my own experience with the breed aside, it’s what has sometimes made me shake my head at IshiHime fandom (much as I am overjoyed it exists at all and also likes them), because invariably there is fanfiction in which Ishida is that guy, or fandom opinions that, possibly unaware of just how gross it sounds, go on about how he deserves her affection and gosh how dare she never look at him when he’s been such a good friend and so in wuv, etc.
Without launching into a rant on that, b/c lol brevity and focus, I do want to say that I am very confident KT won’t do that. He has disappointed me before, but rarely with characterization. Ishida’s treatment of Orihime has always been refreshingly consistent.
If we operate under the assumption that he does have feelings for her (and I obviously do), I think it fairly clear he chooses not to acknowledge them. He does this both passively and actively, subconsciously and consciously.
The only time he seems at all annoyed by her talk of Ichigo is when she mistakes him (Uryuu) for Ichigo, and there’s obviously a whole bag full of other reasons why that’d furrow his eyebrows, such as his occasional need for acknowledgment, rivalry, etc. Lol, he got annoyed when those thugs at the school did it, too! Not that that rivalry is really all that competitive or hostile, as while Ishida did go to SS to fight Shinigami, he also (despite his claims to the contrary), went to support Ichigo and rescue Rukia. Just see his emo rain moment when he tells Urahara ONLY KUROSAKI CAN SAVE HER!11 and when Orihime sees right through him, as she always does. (The Ichigo-Ishida rivalry is pretty interesting in that they don’t compete, they stand as equals despite power imbalance, there is no resentment, etc. Maybe he’d be frustrated Ichigo is dumb and inadvertently hurting Orihime, but we don’t even see THAT).
Otherwise, he puts aside his feelings. When his attention is on her, he never thinks of himself. He is almost completely absent from it, until the concluding thought (“Don’t die, Kurosaki, or I’ll never forgive you!”), or if he thinks of himself, it is only to immediately put aside his own feelings and focus on hers (“I’m glad you’re safe. …No, I shouldn’t say that yet. [“Don’t worry. Kurosaki will win.”] I’ll only be able to say that for real when you’ve defeated him, Kurosaki!”). There is no trace of resentment, no hint of expectation. The only thing Ishida wants and has consistently wanted, while watching Orihime watch Ichigo, is for Orihime to be happy. Recognizing where she has placed her happiness, and respecting that, he also turns his attention on Ichigo.
Yes, he has that problematic chivalry going, with the whole MUST PROTECT, but that’s another issue. (As is his dismissing her qualifications for the front line, as I honestly think that had less to do with chivalry and more to do with how he’d raised himself and how he perceived those fights; anoooother essay/issue there).
He isn’t a saint; there might be some part of him that wishes she would look his way, but it isn’t a part of him that he gives any attention. Unlike the “Nice Guy”, he isn’t Orihime’s friend because he wants to get into her pants. He isn’t kinder to especially her out of the gross expectation that doing so makes her indebted to him and thus obligated to let him grope her. He doesn’t want to protect especially her because damn, doesn’t that mean he deserves her?
There has been absolutely no evidence of him thinking that way. His tacit and silent support of her feelings for Ichigo have been, to my eyes, utterly genuine. They might make him feel a little cruddy deep, deep down, but again: he isn’t humoring that.
I think he’d be disgusted by that sort of attitude.
And unless KT makes him jump off a characterization cliff, I think he’s safe from it, too. I guess, with this arc and the way he’s being set up for some false antagonism/opposition, I’m a little worried he’ll fake that attitude, play the act and say the lines to try and be disgusting and hated, and it will work and I’ll be disgusted that that ever happened. lol if KT then at all implied there was truth to it, I’ll lose all faith in my ability to understand characters portrayed in BLEACH and have to give up RPing Ishida, I guess, lol. But, I figure he’ll act more with Ichigo and just apologize to her or say nothing :|||||
omg why can’t i read more tag in photo posts / reblogging those cries
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
I never filled out an application.
Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Well, but that doesn't-
AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Well no, but what does that matter?
...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
That...doesn't make any sense.
NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Fuck you, slut.